Alright so here’s the deal – me and my partner were gonna be apart for a while cause of work stuff. We wanted to keep things spicy, right? Phone sex seemed like the obvious move, but honestly? Starting it felt super awkward. Like, where do you even begin? So yeah, I decided to just dive in and figure it out. Here’s how it went down.
The First Try Was a Bit of a Train Wreck
Honest moment? Our first attempt was rough. I picked up the phone feeling kinda nervous, just jumped straight in. I think I mumbled something like “Uh… hey… so… wanna?” followed by total silence. Dead. Air. She laughed awkwardly, I cleared my throat about three times. It was cringe city, population us. We ended up just talking about her neighbor’s weird dog barking instead.
Big Mistake: I tried to force it like it was some kinda meeting agenda. Zero mood. Zero build-up. Just clumsy.
Figuring Out the Setup Stuff
After facepalming hard, I actually planned the next time. Needed to get my head in the game and make it easier for her too. Here’s what I did:
- Got Comfy: Didn’t just call while washing dishes. Went to the bedroom, dimmed the lights, chilled on the bed. Made it feel like our space.
- Liquid Courage (Sorta): Had one glass of wine. Just one! Enough to loosen up, not enough to slur.
- Started Normal: Didn’t immediately launch into sexy talk. We just chatted first – how was your day, funny thing that happened, normal couple stuff. Helped us both relax.
Actually Getting the Words Out
This was the scary part. How do you transition from “Yeah, Karen from accounting is wild” to… the other stuff? I took a deep breath and just leaned into what I was feeling and sensing.
- Describe Senses: Talked about how the sheets felt against my skin. Simple. “Mmm, these sheets are super soft right now…” Easy opener.
- Say What You’re Doing: “I’m just kinda lying here thinking about you…” Pause. Let it sit.
- Ask Gentle Questions: “What are you wearing?” classic for a reason. She said “Sweatpants and that old band tee,” and I just went “Mmm, I love you in that, it’s so comfy. Wished I was there touching you…” Kept it chill.
- Focus on Feeling, Not Actions: Instead of trying to narrate some complex scene like a bad script, I stuck to how things felt. “I love imagining your hand on my chest…” “Thinking about your smell…” Way easier and felt more real.
Key Breakthrough: She actually sighed this little soft sigh and whispered “Yeah? What else do you imagine?” Boom. Moment found.
Keeping It Going (Without Pressure)
Once that spark hit, it flowed way better, but I had to remember not to rush.
- Let the Silence Happen: Didn’t try to fill every second. Those quiet pauses where you just hear breathing? Hot.
- Respond to Her: When she said “Your voice sounds so good like this,” I didn’t just say thanks, I told her why hearing her say that hit me, the warmth it sent down my spine. Made it back-and-forth.
- Keep It Real: Accidentally cleared my throat? Laughed and said “Smooth, right?” Kept it human. Didn’t try to be a porn star.
We wrapped it up naturally after a while, just kinda basked in that fuzzy afterglow feeling together quietly before saying goodnight.
What Actually Worked (For Us)
So yeah, trial by fire. Learned some solid things:
- Start Normal, End Weird: Build the bridge from regular convo. Don’t startle them.
- Comfort is King: If you’re tense, they’re tense. Set your scene.
- Sense & Sensation > Scripts: Talking about touch, smell, taste, sound… way easier than trying to direct a movie.
- Small Steps: A whisper, a sigh, a simple question. That’s enough fuel.
- Laughing is Okay: Seriously. If you bonk your knee on the bedside table mid-sentence? Laugh it off. It’s sex, not surgery.
It’s not about being perfect. It’s about connecting. Forget the pressure, remember why you’re doing it – to feel close. Keep that vibe, and the words get easier. Worked for us, might work for you too.
