Alright, let’s talk about Puerto Rican drinks. This came up because, well, I was trying to recapture a bit of vacation vibe the other day. You know how it is. Stuck at home, weather’s blah, you start dreaming of beaches and sunshine.
So I thought, Piña Colada! Seemed like a good starting point. Remembered having amazing ones on a trip ages ago. How hard could it be?
First step, gather the goods. Went out and bought pineapple juice. Got a can of coconut cream – the thick stuff, not that watery milk. Found some white rum in the back of the cabinet. Check, check, check. Oh, and ice. Lots of ice.
Got the blender out. This thing’s ancient, sounds like a jet engine taking off. Dumped in the pineapple juice, scooped in the coconut cream. It looked kinda gloopy. Added a healthy pour of rum. Maybe a bit more. Then crammed in as much ice as I could fit.
Put the lid on tight. Learned that lesson the hard way once. Hit the button. RrrrrrrRRRRRRR! Sounded awful, but it was mixing. Watched it turn white and frothy.
Poured it into a glass. Looked… okay. Not quite like the pictures, but whatever. Took a sip.
Meh. It was alright. Pineappley, coconutty, boozy. But just… missing something. Wasn’t the same as the ones I remembered. Maybe the rum wasn’t right? Or the coconut cream wasn’t fancy enough? Who knows.
It’s like trying to follow a recipe online from one of those super cheerful people who make everything look effortless. They whisk things perfectly, their kitchen stays spotless. My kitchen looked like a pineapple exploded. Sticky counters, blender needing a deep clean.
Then I remembered Coquito. Heard folks raving about it around Christmas time. Like a Puerto Rican eggnog, but way better, apparently. Coconut, rum, spices. Sounds good, right?
Thought about trying that next. Looked up what goes in it. Coconut milk, cream of coconut, condensed milk, evaporated milk, cinnamon, vanilla, rum. Holy cow, that’s a lot of cans and sweet stuff. Seemed like a major operation. And probably another sticky mess waiting to happen.
My buddy, his family makes it every year. He brought some over once. Man, that stuff was dangerous. Smooth, creamy, delicious… then bam, hits you like a ton of bricks. He wouldn’t share the recipe though. “Family secret,” he said with a wink.
- Got coconut milk.
- Got cream of coconut.
- Got rum.
- Got a blender that makes scary noises.
The Verdict?
My homemade Piña Colada was drinkable, but not magical. Cleaning up was not fun. The Coquito project? Put on hold indefinitely. Maybe forever. Seems like one of those things better left to the experts, or at least someone with a secret family recipe and more patience for sticky kitchens than I have.
So, my big practice session with Puerto Rican drinks ended up being more of a reminder that sometimes, buying it ready-made or just enjoying it on vacation is the easier path. Less cleanup, guaranteed good taste. Yeah, think I’ll stick to that for now.
