Okay, so I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this whole introversion and extroversion thing. For years, I felt like I was playing a guessing game with myself. Am I the quiet type who prefers staying in, or the life of the party? It always felt like I was trying to pick a side, but neither felt completely right.
I remember going through phases. There were times, especially when I was younger, I’d push myself to be super outgoing. Go to every party, try to talk to everyone. Sometimes it felt great, really energizing. But other times? Man, it felt like I was running on empty, just performing. I’d come home feeling totally drained, needing days to just recharge my batteries, be quiet, maybe read a book or tinker with something on my own.
Then, I’d swing the other way. I’d embrace the quiet life. Decline invitations, stay home, enjoy my own company. And that felt good too, really comfortable. But after a while, I’d start feeling restless, like I was missing out, craving some interaction, some buzz from being around people.
Figuring Things Out
It was confusing, honestly. I’d see friends who were clearly one or the other. My buddy Dave, he thrives in big crowds, always talking, always energized by more people. And my sister? She’s perfectly happy with a small group of close friends or just being alone; big parties just exhaust her. I felt like I was somewhere lost in the middle.
The real shift happened gradually. It wasn’t one big ‘aha!’ moment, more like a slow realization. I started paying more attention to how I actually felt in different situations, instead of how I thought I should feel.
- Going to a big networking event? Okay, I could do it, maybe even enjoy parts of it, but I knew I’d need downtime afterwards. Absolutely need it.
- Spending a whole weekend alone? Nice for a bit, but by Sunday evening, I’d probably feel the itch to connect with someone, even just a phone call.
- Working on a team project? I found I actually liked collaborating, bouncing ideas around. But I also needed focused, quiet time to get my own part done effectively.
I stopped trying to label myself so rigidly. It wasn’t about being an introvert or an extrovert. It was about understanding my own energy levels and what charged them up versus what drained them.
How I Handle It Now
So, what did I do about it? It sounds simple, but mostly I just started listening to myself more. It’s become a practice, really. Before committing to social things, I check in with myself. How’s my energy? What do I actually need right now?
If I know I have a busy week with lots of meetings or social stuff, I actively schedule quiet time for myself. Like, literally block it out. No guilt. It’s maintenance. On the flip side, if I’ve been isolated for too long and feel that familiar restlessness, I make a conscious effort to reach out, make a plan, get some social energy.
It’s about balance. Sometimes I lean more towards needing people, sometimes I lean more towards needing solitude. And that’s okay. It’s not about being inconsistent; it’s about responding to my needs in the moment. It made social interactions less stressful because I wasn’t forcing myself into a role that didn’t fit that day.
Honestly, accepting this middle ground has been pretty liberating. It took a while to get here, navigating all that back-and-forth, but understanding that I can be both, that I can draw energy from both solitude and socializing depending on the context and my internal state? That’s been key. It just feels more authentic, you know? Not having to fit into a neat little box someone else defined.
