Okay, so I figured I’d share my notes on kink stuff today. Look, I’m just a regular person, but some folks online were throwing around these terms, and honestly? I felt lost. Didn’t wanna judge anybody, just wanted to actually understand what the heck people were talking about.
Where I Started
First thing I did? Grabbed my coffee and typed “different kinds of kinks” into my search bar. Simple start, right? Tons of lists popped up, some way too clinical, some just plain weird. I just needed someone to talk straight about this.
Getting My Hands Dirty with Lists
Started scribbling notes in my old notebook – yeah, actual paper and pen. Grouping stuff felt messy at first. Like, bondage and handcuffs? Okay, I get that one – tying up, feeling restrained. Put that under “BDSM” in my head. Impact play? That’s spanking or flogging, right? Made a little box for “Sensation Play” too for wax, ice, that kinda thing.
- Power Stuff: Kept seeing Dominance and submission pop up. That whole giving up control or taking control vibe. Made a section just for dynamics like that.
- Role Flips: Then I stumbled on roleplay – nurse, teacher, that stuff seems obvious, but some folks take it deeper like age play or pet play. Surprised me how creative it gets.
- The “No-Touchy” Part: Found out voyeurism and exhibitionism are major categories too! Feeling the thrill from watching or being watched? Hadn’t thought much about it before, but it clicked.
Hitting Bumps in the Road
Got tripped up BIG time. Some lists called everything “fetishes,” others made a hard split between fetish and kink. Realized halfway through that nobody agrees on the definitions! Felt like untangling headphone wires. Shoved most sensory stuff like leather/rubber into “Material Kinks” to keep my sanity.
Real People, Messy Edges
Remembered chatting with a friend last year who mentioned loving sensation play but hating pain. That moment clicked. These aren’t neat boxes! Someone might be into the submission part without any bondage, or enjoy a little spanking but call it quits there. Like mixing puzzle pieces from different sets.
Plus, found out a lot of kinks tie back to psychology and feeling safe. Consent? Non-negotiable. If it ain’t safe and agreed on, it ain’t a kink – it’s something else entirely. Wrote THAT at the top of my notebook page in big letters.
Why Bother?
Honestly? It made me less awkward talking about it. Kinks are like music tastes – some like punk, some like opera, but it doesn’t make you a different species. Calling things by their names takes the weirdness out. Plus, knowing the categories helps spot red flags faster. No shame? Cool. Pushing boundaries? Not cool.
Finished my coffee and closed the notebook. My takeaway? Way more variety than I imagined, everyone mixes their own cocktail, and making it safe matters way more than the label. And yeah, I get why people make such a big deal about communication now.
