Last month I got my passport stolen in Paris because I was being dumb. Had to spend two days at the embassy instead of sightseeing. So this trip to Bangkok? Changed everything. Here’s exactly what I did step by step.
The Wallet Disaster That Started It All
Remember my Paris trip? Walking near the Louvre, stopped to take dumb selfies. Had my fancy leather wallet sticking out of my back pocket like an idiot. Some guy bumped me hard – thought it was an accident. Five minutes later, poof! Wallet gone with passport, credit cards, all my cash. Felt like such a moron.
My New Anti-Theft Setup
Bought three things before Bangkok flight:
- A ugly fanny pack that clips UNDER my shirt
- Color photocopies of passport and visa
- Cheapo decoy wallet from dollar store
Packed everything backwards this time. Real passport? Zipped inside that hidden fanny pack against my belly. Credit cards? Only took two – one in fanny pack, one in hotel safe.
Playing the Decoy Game
Put that fake wallet in my back pocket with funny Monopoly money and expired gym membership card. Made sure it stuck out obvious. In crowded markets like Chatuchak, kept my real hand always touching the hidden fanny pack like paranoid weirdo. Felt silly but man it worked.
Hotel Ninja Moves
Checked in, went straight to safe. Locked up passport copy, backup credit card, extra cash stash. Left “Do Not Disturb” sign on door 24/7 so nobody knew room was empty. Maid cleaning? Stood there watching like security guard while she worked.
The Moment It Paid Off
Getting on crowded river ferry, felt tug on my pants. Turned around – pickpocket had my fake wallet! Dude looked shocked holding that expired Blockbuster card. I just laughed and said “Enjoy your movie night!” Boat crowd cheered. Best 5 bucks I ever spent.
Flew home with all documents safe. Felt like freaking James Bond. Pro tip? Act like everything valuable’s in your stupid decoy wallet while the real goods stay hidden on your body. Thieves always go for easy targets first.
