Alright folks, let me dump this Chile trip diary fresh from my memory bank. Got a free week last month and just went “screw it, I’m hitting South America”.
The Nuts & Bolts
First hurdle? The damn flights. Spent three nights scrolling till my eyes bled. Finally snagged something with two layovers – total travel time like 28 hours. Packed:
- Hiking boots that hadn’t seen daylight since 2019
- A dumb waterproof jacket I thought was overkill
- More sunscreen than a drugstore shelf
Touchdown Chaos
Landed in Santiago with that special kind of jetlag where you’re vibrating. Grabbed pesos from the sketchiest ATM in the terminal. Hopped on a bus going downtown – dude drove like he was in Mario Kart. Checked into this hostel with neon pink walls and bunk beds squeakier than my grandpa’s knees.
Pro tip: Chilean Spanish sounds like they’re chewing rocks. Asked “dónde está el baño?” five times before some kid took pity on me.
Nature’s Punch in the Face
Took an overnight bus to Puerto Natales – felt like riding a washing machine. When I stumbled out at 5AM, bam. Wind. So much wind my eyelashes froze together. Trekked Torres del Paine with a German girl I met on the bus. Saw:
- Glaciers bleeding turquoise water
- Mountains tearing through clouds like shark teeth
- Guanacos spitting at tourists (felt personal)
That waterproof jacket? Saved my ass when horizontal rain hit. Hiked ten miles in squelching boots – worth every blister.
City Surprises
Back in Santiago, tried finding “authentic” food. Ended up at some basement joint eating completo hotdogs piled high with guacamole and mayo. Felt my arteries shriek. Explored barrios:
- Lastarria’s street art swallowing entire buildings
- Pisco sours in Bellavista that knocked my socks off
- Local flea markets selling llama fetuses (noped right out)
Epic Win & Fail
Took a wine tour on my last day. Tipsy me thought petting stray dogs was smart. Got chased by three mutts through a vineyard. Hid behind oak barrels panting like an idiot. Still sipped carménère like a boss though.
Final scorecard:
- Win: Seeing condors circle those granite towers at sunrise
- Massive Fail: Forgetting voltage converters – fried my razor spectacularly
Would I do it again? Hell yes – but next time I’m bringing an industrial-strength hair dryer and dog repellent.
