So yesterday I was looking through our family reunion photos and man, some shots were just brutal. My aunt’s double chin looked like a turtle neck, cousin Pete resembled a beach ball, and I won’t even mention what the camera did to my jawline. That’s when I decided to actually figure out this group photo slimming angle thing for real.
The Awkward Experiment Phase
Grabbed my kids and bribed them with ice cream to stand still. First tried straight-on shots like we always do – huge mistake. Even thin people looked puffy. Then I remembered that “chin down” tip from some article. Made everyone tilt heads forward like pigeons pecking seeds. My daughter started giggling and it looked super unnatural.
Next attempt: got on a step stool and shot downward. Bad idea! Foreheads looked giant while bodies disappeared – like floating bobbleheads. My youngest started crying when I made them all turn sideways like sardines. Wife called it the “mugshot lineup pose.” Total fail.
The Breakthrough Moment
Finally figured out three things that actually worked:
- Elevate AND step back: Stood on porch stairs but walked back five steps. Zoomed in slightly instead of using wide angle. Instantly less distorted faces!
- Diagonal lines are magic: Made everyone stand at slight angles instead of square to camera. Shoulders turned 45 degrees, weight on back foot. Suddenly Aunt Martha’s arms didn’t look like hams.
- Chin tricks done right: Had everyone pretend to smell flowers – slight chin down but not exaggerated. Huge difference without looking creepy!
What Caused Disaster
Learned some poses that backfire badly:
- Low angles make noses huge and necks disappear – doomsday for double chins
- Putting tallest people at frame edges? Instant stretched balloon effect
- “Slimming” black clothes actually make shoulders disappear, creates floating heads
Ended up taking 237 test shots over two hours. Kids were complaining, wife was rolling her eyes, but that eureka moment when we finally got the shot? Priceless. Final photo made everyone look 10 pounds lighter without looking weird. Still can’t believe how much angles matter. Next project: figuring out how to photograph bridesmaid groups without anyone murdering me!
