My Mexican Food Disaster That Started It All
Got totally burned last month at that new “authentic” spot downtown. Ordered carne asada tacos and they served me some mystery meat swimming in jarred salsa. Tasted like boiled shoe leather with cheap cumin dumped on top. That’s when I decided to figure this crap out once and for all.
The Meat Hunt Begins
First thing I did? Hit up every Mexican joint in town claiming traditional dishes. Ordered carnitas, barbacoa, pastor – you name it. Took notes like a madman while eating:
- Place #1: Carnitas looked suspiciously uniform and greasy. Owner dodged when I asked about lard type
- Place #2: Barbacoa smelled like wet dog. Turns out they used beef chuck instead of cheek
- Place #3: Pastor spit had sad-looking pork loin instead of shoulder
Kitchen Experiments
Bought every meat cut from three markets – supermarket, butcher shop, Mexican carniceria. Cooked identical batches using Diana Kennedy’s recipes:
Test 1: Carnitas
Supermarket pork shoulder took forever to crisp up. Butcher shop version was juicy but weirdly sweet. The carniceria’s fatty shoulder? Perfect bronze crust in 90 minutes when cooked in actual lard.
Test 2: Carne Asada
Tried skirt steak from all three sources. Grocery store crap turned into jerky in seconds. Real arrachera needs that thin cut with visible grain – only the carniceria nailed it.
Spotting Fake vs Real Guide
Stuck cheat sheet on my fridge after wasting $200 on meat:
- RED FLAGS: Meat swimming in sauce, uniform cube shapes, artificial orange color
- AUTHENTIC SIGNS: Visible marbling, irregular edges, crispy char spots
- TOUCH TEST: Real barbacoa should shred with light fork pressure
- SMELL CHECK: Pastor must smell like chiles & pineapple, not liquid smoke
How It Turned Out
Armed with this, went back to that original taco hellhole. Point-blank asked: “What cut’s your asada? What fat you frying carnitas in?” Dude admitted they use pre-marinated stuff from Sysco. Walked straight out and found this family-run truck near the tire shop. Saw them cutting real skirt steak fresh. Best damn tacos I’ve ever had – cost me three bucks each. Case closed.
