Okay, so today I decided to dive headfirst into the wonderfully weird world of “Gross British Cuisine.” I’ve seen those viral videos, you know, the ones with questionable-looking dishes that make you go “huh?” So, yeah, I figured, why not try to make some myself? Let’s just say it was… an experience.
Phase 1: The Research (aka Googling Frantically)
First, I scrolled through a bunch of websites and blogs. I needed to figure out what I was even going to attempt. There were so many options! Stargazy pie with fish heads poking out? Jellied eels? It was overwhelming, to be honest.
I finally settled on a few “classics”:
- Laverbread: Apparently, it’s seaweed that’s been boiled for hours until it’s…mush.
- Black Pudding: I knew this one involved blood, which already had me a little nervous.
- Haggis:Because when it comes to the culinary adventurous, it’s an unmissable one.
Phase 2: The Shopping Spree (aka The Hunt for Weird Stuff)
Finding the ingredients was a whole other adventure. I hit up a few different grocery stores. Let me tell you, asking the butcher for “pig’s blood” gets you some interesting looks. I managed to snag most of what I needed, though. I had to order some stuff online, though, because apparently, my local supermarket doesn’t stock a lot of sheep stomachs.
Phase 3: The Cooking (aka Controlled Chaos)
Okay, this is where things got… messy. The laverbread? It looked like something you’d scrape off the bottom of a boat, and honestly, it didn’t smell much better. I boiled it for what felt like an eternity, and it just kept getting… gooier. It did’t make feel better. It was hard to continue.
The black pudding was another level of “what am I doing with my life?” I mixed the blood with oatmeal, onions, and spices. It didn’t smell that horrible, though.
As for haggis, I must say that the fact that it is not only ground meat but also ground viscera like heart and lungs, all encased in a sheep’s stomach, made me sweat just by reading about it.
Phase 4: The Tasting (aka The Moment of Truth)
Alright, time to face the music. I plated everything up, trying to make it look… appetizing? It was a struggle. I took a deep breath and dug in.
- Haggis:Surprisinly I managed to get a better taste than with the previous 2 dishes.
- Laverbread: Okay, not gonna lie, it tasted like salty seaweed paste. Not my favorite. I tried to eat it with some toast, but… nope.
- Black Pudding: This one was actually surprisingly okay! It was kind of like a savory, crumbly sausage. I could see myself eating that again, maybe.
Phase 5: The Aftermath (aka The Regret and the Leftovers)
So, would I recommend a “Gross British Cuisine” cooking day? Maybe. It was definitely an experience, and I did learn a lot. I also discovered that I’m not as adventurous of an eater as I thought I was. I ended up throwing away most of the laverbread, but I might actually try black pudding again sometime. Maybe. The haggis I managed to swallow, without a doubt, was delicious, and I’m sure the Scots are great people.
As for the rest, I think I’ll stick to pizza for a while.
