Alright, let’s talk about this. It’s not some magic trick you learn from a book, really. It’s more about figuring things out, paying attention. Took me a while to get it right, lots of trial and error, you know?
Getting Started
First off, you gotta make sure she’s comfortable, relaxed. Can’t just dive in. It’s about the whole vibe. Maybe start with some kissing, touching elsewhere, just building things up slowly. You need to be relaxed too, not like you’re trying to defuse a bomb. It’s supposed to be enjoyable for both of you.
The Actual Process – What I Learned
So, when it comes to the main event, what worked for me was realizing it’s not a race. Slow down.
- Starting gentle: I learned pretty quick that going too hard, too fast is usually a bad idea. Start soft, use the whole mouth, lips more than teeth obviously. Explore around the general area first.
- Finding the spot: Everyone talks about the clitoris, and yeah, it’s important. But just hammering away at it wasn’t the key. I found using my tongue, trying different pressures – light flicks, slow circles, sometimes a bit firmer pressure – was the way to go. You gotta watch for reactions.
- Variety is key: Doing the same thing over and over gets boring for everyone. I started mixing it up. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes focusing right on the clit, other times exploring the lips (labia). Using fingers at the same time can be a game changer too, adding a different sensation.
- Listen and Watch: This is maybe the biggest thing. Pay attention! Is she breathing faster? Making little noises? Moving her hips? That’s your feedback. If she tenses up or pulls away, ease off, try something different. Sometimes she might even guide your head, that’s a pretty clear sign.
Things I Tried That Worked
Using my tongue in different ways: Not just licking. Pointed, flat, circles, up and down. You figure out what patterns work. Sometimes just steady pressure with the flat of the tongue right on the spot seemed to do wonders.
Varying pressure and speed: Like I said, mixing it up. Build intensity slowly, then maybe back off a little, then build again. Keeps things interesting and can lead to a stronger finish.
Don’t forget the surroundings: The whole vulva area can be sensitive. Light touches, kisses on the inner thighs, around the clitoral hood – it all adds to the experience.
Wrapping Up
It’s really about being present and focused on her pleasure. Don’t be afraid to try things, but always pay attention to how she’s reacting. When she orgasms, don’t just stop immediately. Slow down gently, keep kissing or holding her. It’s about connection, not just the physical act. That’s what I figured out works best, anyway. Just gotta keep practicing and paying attention.
