Alright, so this Bermuda trip came up quick. Boss dumped this meeting on me last week, so I grabbed the earliest flight outta here. Here’s exactly how it went down, step by step.
Packing Like a Maniac
First things first: passport and swim trunks. Didn’t wanna look like a tourist lugging suitcases, so I squeezed everything into a backpack: flip-flops, sunscreen, one kinda okay polo shirt, and my phone charger. Pro tip? Roll your clothes like burritos – saves crazy space. Forgot my toothbrush though, obviously.
Airport Chaos Mode
Got to JFK at stupid o’clock – 5 AM. Security line snaked halfway to Queens. Stood there like a zombie till I remembered: TSA PreCheck is golden. Swerved left to the empty lane, dumped shoes and laptop in the bin, sailed through. Almost hugged the agent.
- Shoes off, belt off, pockets EMPTY. Yeah, even that gum wrapper.
- Keep boarding pass on your phone. Less fumbling.
Gate Shenanigans & Boarding
Flight got delayed an hour. Typical. Chugged lukewarm coffee and hovered near the gate like a vulture. Overhead bins fill up FAST, so when Zone 3 got called? I bolted. Shoved my bag above 12C – priority seating can suck it.
Sky High Survival
Seat neighbor smelled like mothballs. Whatever. Noise-canceling headphones saved my sanity. Watched half a superhero movie, passed out drooling. Woke up to turbulence making my stomach flip. Flight attendant handed out those tiny wet wipes – wiped down my tray table. Germs, man.
- Bring snacks. Airline pretzels taste like cardboard salt.
- Hydrate or die. Chugged three water bottles.
Bermuda Touchdown & Airport Sprint
Landed at L.F. Wade, stumbled outta the plane into that warm island air. Felt like a hairdryer blast. Followed the herd to immigration – lines crawled slower than my grandma’s dial-up. Finally handed over my passport, got a stamp without questions. Baggage claim? Nope. That backpack shot out like a rocket. No checked bag = freedom. Walked straight past the luggage zombies.
Final verdict? Pack light, move fast, and BYO snacks. Made it from tarmac to taxi in 35 minutes flat. Now where’s that beach…
