My First Awkward Attempt
Honestly, I started off totally clueless. Saw folks online making foreplay sound like rocket science and felt like a fish outta water. Thought, “Screw it, gotta begin somewhere,” right? So, I literally just sat my partner down one lazy Sunday afternoon, feeling super nervous. Said something dumb like, “Uh, wanna… try figuring this out together?” My palms were sweating buckets.
Spoiler alert: That first try? Kinda sucked. I basically just patted their back awkwardly and mumbled about the weather. Zero mood. Felt like a total goofball pretending to be Casanova. Lesson learned: Jumping in without a tiny bit of prep is a surefire way to bomb.
Stopping The Car Crash & Finding Simple Tricks
Decided I needed a better plan than just winging it and feeling stupid. Figured I’d focus on basic stuff anyone could do, not some fancy movie moves.
Here’s what I actually DID:
- Stopped rushing: Seriously man, gotta slow down. Switched off my phone, kicked out distractions, and just sat close. Even that felt weird at first – just looking at each other without talking? Whoa. But after a minute, it actually… settled us down.
- Started slow with touch: Ditched the grand gestures. Began super simple: Holding hands, really noticing how their skin felt under my fingers. Then moved to light touches on the arms, shoulders – not aiming for anything specific, just exploring how their skin reacted. Light fingertip tracing felt kinda electric after a minute.
- Noticed the little signals: Key difference! Instead of charging ahead, I forced myself to actually SEE their reactions. Shallow breathing? A tiny sigh? Maybe leaning into the touch? That was my green light. If they tensed up or seemed distracted? Backed off a touch. This felt like cheating, honestly – it made me way less nervous.
- Forget performance pressure: Dropped the mission to be “amazing.” Focused on connection instead. Asked a dumb question: “How does this feel right here?” Low pressure chat helped both of us relax. Maybe even giggled about how ticklish a spot was – laughter killed the tension dead.
- Started building that “mood”: Didn’t need fancy lighting, but dimming the harsh overhead lamp helped. Didn’t blast music, just put on something quiet we both liked. Less awkward silence, more cozy focus.
Seeing Real Changes
Kept this up, practicing those tiny tweaks maybe once or twice a week when it felt natural, not forced. Didn’t aim for perfection, just wanted to suck less each time.
The cool results?
- Felt way less clumsy and way more confident just initiating that quiet, close time. Those awkward “uh… wanna?” moments vanished.
- Stopped obsessing about the “main event.” Seriously, just enjoying that buildup touch became its own awesome thing. Partner started getting way more into it too, like actively seeking out those slow touches.
- Communication got easier. Started just whispering “Here?” or “More pressure?” Felt less like guesswork and more like teamwork.
Biggest win? We both just relaxed into it. Created this little bubble of closeness that made everything feel smoother, hotter, and actually FUN. Instead of stress, it became this lovely, tense buildup we both craved. It wasn’t about magic tricks; it was just about chilling out, paying damn attention, and starting stupidly simple.
