Alright, buckle up folks. Today’s chat is a bit outta the ordinary, but important. Got asked about childhood stuff – masturbation specifically. Yeah, I know. Deep breath. This ain’t a clinical lecture, just me sharing how this rolled out in my own house.
The “Oh Crap” Moment
Started when I walked into my kid’s room one evening. Little dude was maybe 5? Maybe 6? Honestly, wasn’t sure. He was just lying on his bed, hand in his pants, rubbing. Didn’t see me at first. My brain kinda froze. My immediate reaction? Panic. Like, “Oh no. What do I do?”
I backed out quietly. Stood in the hallway. Heart racing a bit. Felt sweaty-palmed. This wasn’t something covered in the parenting 101 brochure. Remember thinking, “Is this normal? Should I stop him? Do I say anything?”
Taking a Step Back (And Doing Some Digging)
Didn’t barge in yelling. Took a minute. Next few days, I kept a low-key eye out. Yep. Happened again, usually when he was winding down, quiet time. Seemed self-soothing.
Time to research. Looked it up – carefully. Realized:
- It’s WAY more common than you’d think. Like, seriously.
- It’s rarely about sex at that age. It’s more about exploration or feeling comfy.
- Big feelings for the kid: pleasure, curiosity, sometimes boredom.
- Freaking out? Not helpful.
Okay. So, the goal wasn’t to stop it cold. Goal was understanding and setting boundaries, like teaching bathroom privacy.
Gearing Up for The Talk
Gotta find the right moment. Not while he’s actively doing it. That felt like catching and punishing. Bad vibe. Waited for a calm, quiet afternoon. Just him and me building Legos.
Started light: “Hey buddy, you know how some things we do are private?” He nodded. “Like using the potty by yourself?” Another nod. Deep breath. “Okay, cool. So you know when you sometimes touch yourself under your pants? That’s a private thing too.”
Kept my voice super neutral. No frowns. No sighs.
- Explained: “Your body belongs to you. You might notice it feels kind of nice when you touch yourself. That’s your body working.”
- Set Boundaries: “But, just like using the potty, touching private parts is something we do when we’re alone, in our bedroom or the bathroom. We don’t do it in the living room or at the park. Okay?”
- Reinforced Privacy: “If you need some private time in your room, that’s fine, just close the door.”
- Asked: “Does that make sense? Any questions?”
How It Landed
Kid looked at me. Thought for a second. “Okay, Daddy.” Then went right back to building his Lego spaceship. Seriously. That simple. No drama. No big reaction. Like telling him carrots were good for him.
Followed up a week later: “Hey, remember our chat about private time in your room? How’s that going?” Just checking in casually. He just shrugged, “Yeah, fine.”
What Stuck With Me
The biggest lesson? Don’t project adult stuff onto a kid’s actions. It’s not the same game. Kids touch themselves for different reasons. Getting the conversation right meant:
- Staying calm.
- Framing it around body awareness and privacy rules.
- Picking the right moment.
- Keeping it short and unloaded.
It felt awkward as hell walking into that room initially. Fumbling through my phone research felt clumsy. But actually talking? Once I ripped off the band-aid, my kid handled it way smoother than I did. Kinda humbling, honestly. Kids just need simple, clear info and boundaries, without the weight of our freaked-out feelings.
