So my dumb butt actually tried to take an impotence case to small claims court last month. Thought it’d be quick cash – boy was I wrong. Let me walk you through exactly how I faceplanted so you don’t.
The Disaster Setup
Bought this “performance enhancer” pill online after seeing flashy ads. Took one and… nothing. Zero. Dead fish situation. Got mad, fired off angry emails demanding refund. Seller ghosted me completely. So I figured: “Sue the scammer!” Grabbed my receipt printout and stormed straight to courthouse.
Where Everything Went Wrong
- Flunked Paperwork: Clerk hands me 6 forms. Missed THREE signature spots – got rejected twice.
- Bogus Evidence: Tried submitting bottle label saying “Boosts Vitality!” Clerk laughed: “Vitality ain’t boners, pal.”
- No Doctor Paper: Judge asked for medical proof it caused issues. All I had was my word and embarrassment.
- Sued Wrong Company: Turns out seller used fake LLC name. Like chasing a ghost.
Wasted $150 in fees and two vacation days just for judge to toss it in 4 minutes flat. Brutal.
How I Fixed This Mess
After licking wounds, did it RIGHT for round two:
- Hired Local Lawyer (cheap): Paid $200 for 1-hour consult. Game-changer.
- Gathered REAL Proof: Got doctor note confirming pills did squat. Saved chat logs where seller promised “rocket boost.”
- Traced Company Properly: Lawyer found real LLC through Secretary of State site.
- Used Court Prep Site: Filled forms online with tutorial videos. Didn’t miss one damn checkbox.
Settled out of court yesterday for full refund plus extra $500. Took 37 days total. Moral? Don’t be an angry DIY idiot like me. Spend coffee money on a lawyer consult first. Saved me $5000 worth of headache.
