Okay, so sharing some thoughts on this. It’s something that, honestly, takes practice and paying attention. It’s not just about going through the motions.
Getting Started Right
First off, atmosphere matters. You can’t just jump into it usually. Making sure she’s relaxed, comfortable, maybe some kissing, touching first. Setting the mood, you know? It helps a lot. I usually start slow, just general kissing and exploring around the area, thighs, lower stomach. Letting her know where I’m headed without rushing.
Communication, even non-verbal, is key. Watching her reactions, listening to her breathing. You learn pretty quick what’s working and what’s not. Sometimes a soft touch, sometimes firmer. It varies, not just person to person, but moment to moment.
The Process – What I Focus On
When I actually get started down there, I try a few different things. It’s never just one technique.
- Starting Softly: Gentle licking, maybe figure eights, just getting her used to it. Using the flat of my tongue sometimes.
- Varying Pressure: Sometimes light and teasing, other times more direct pressure right on the clitoris. You gotta read the signs. A sharp inhale might mean “good,” or it might mean “too much.” Gotta learn the difference.
- Using My Hands Too: It’s not just about the mouth. Using fingers to gently spread her lips, or stimulate other areas at the same time, can make a big difference. Sometimes just holding her hips helps her relax into it.
- Rhythm Changes: Fast, slow, steady, pulsing. Mixing it up is important. Doing the same thing over and over can get boring or even irritating. I listen to her sounds – little moans, sighs, how she moves her hips. That tells me what rhythm she’s liking right then.
- Don’t Forget the Surrounding Area: The whole vulva is sensitive, not just the clit. Exploring around, the inner lips, the perineum sometimes.
Paying Attention is Everything
Seriously, this is the biggest part. You have to be present. Pay attention to her body. Is she tensing up? Arching her back? Making more noise? Pulling you closer? Pushing you away slightly? These are all signals.
I remember times early on where I thought I was doing great, just going at it, and afterward, she’d gently tell me it was too much, or too focused on one spot. That’s how you learn. Asking afterward, “What did you like?” or “Was anything too much?” helps for next time. No ego allowed, really.
Sometimes I’ll pause and just look at her, check in with eye contact. A little smile or a nod can tell you a lot. It’s about connection, not just technique.
Wrapping Up
Knowing when to ease off or when she’s close is also part of paying attention. The rhythm might change again, breathing gets faster. And afterward, I don’t just stop abruptly. Gentle kissing, maybe move back up to kiss her stomach, her lips. Keep that connection going for a bit. It just feels more… complete. Yeah, that’s pretty much my process, learned through trial, error, and listening.
