Okay, so I’ve been messing around with this whole “emotional disconnect” thing, you know, when you just know you and someone else aren’t on the same page. It’s like, you’re vibing at a 10, and they’re chilling at a 2. Or vice-versa. It’s awkward, it’s frustrating, and honestly, it can be a real bummer. So, I decided to do a little experiment on myself, and here is what I did.
The Setup
First, I picked a situation where I knew I often felt this disconnect. For me, it’s talking about my super-niche hobbies. Like, I can go deep into the weeds about, say, the history of mechanical keyboards (don’t judge), and most people’s eyes just glaze over. Understandable, but still… a disconnect.
The Experiment
- Step 1: Awareness. I started by just paying attention. Like, really paying attention. Instead of just barreling through my explanation of keycap profiles (yeah, it’s a thing), I watched the other person’s body language. Were they fidgeting? Avoiding eye contact? Yawning subtly (or not so subtly)?
- Step 2: The Pause. This was the hardest part. I forced myself to pause mid-sentence, even when I was on a roll. It felt weird, like interrupting myself, but it was crucial.
- Step 3: The Check-In. After the pause, I asked a simple question. Something like, “Am I losing you here?” or “Does this even make sense?” or even just a self-deprecating “I know, I’m a nerd.” The key was to make it not accusatory. It’s not about them being “wrong” for not caring, it’s about gauging their interest level.
- Step 4: The Pivot. This is where the magic (or, you know, the slightly less awkward conversation) happens. Based on their response, I either shifted gears (“Okay, maybe I’ll spare you the details…”) or I tried to connect it to something they did care about (“It’s kind of like how you customize your car, but with… keyboards.”). Sometimes, I just stopped talking about it altogether. Shocking, I know.
The Results (So Far)
It’s been… interesting. Definitely not a perfect system. Sometimes people are just polite and pretend to be interested, and I’m still working on reading those cues. But overall, I’ve noticed a few things:
- Fewer glazed-over eyes. Always a win.
- More actual engagement. Sometimes, people surprise you! They might not care about the specifics, but they’re curious about why you’re passionate about it.
- Less internal frustration. I’m not constantly feeling like I’m talking to a wall, which is a major improvement.
- I feel less disconnect with my friends. We can share many things together.
It’s a work in progress, for sure. But this little experiment has definitely helped me navigate those “that you don’t feel the same” moments with a little more grace (and a lot less awkwardness). I feel that I’m getting more connected to other people.
