So I figured hey, why not see what the absolute worst tasting stuff out there actually is? Curiosity got the better of me, big time. Found this list online claiming to have the 100 Worst Rated Foods in the World. Clicked it. Saw names that sounded like bad ideas and things I couldn’t even pronounce. Challenge accepted, right? Spoiler: It was a terrible idea.
First thing I did was scan that list real quick. Needed stuff I could actually find or make without dying or going totally broke. Forget about weird bugs or super rare rotten things halfway across the globe. My supermarket was gonna be my battleground.
Okay, easy targets first. Grabbed a jar of canned Surströmming. Couldn’t find the real Swedish stuff? Fine, got a Polish knock-off labeled “Fermented Baltic Herring”. Smelled like death and regret when I popped the lid, just like the internet warned. Took the tiniest piece imaginable on a cracker. It wasn’t just salty and fishy. It tasted like something crawled inside me and gave up. My mouth felt violated. Water? Didn’t help. Bread? Didn’t help. Just had to wait for the taste buds to stop screaming.
Next up, something totally different: Casu Martzu. Yeah, the maggot cheese. Was NOT gonna happen. No way. Nope. Found a recipe for something kinda similar using blue cheese and vinegar? Mixed up some extra-ripe blue cheese and a ton of white vinegar. Called it my “Maggot Cheese Experience”. It looked wrong. Smelled like feet dissolved in acid. Tasted like angry sour milk had a fight with battery acid. My whole face puckered. Immediate gag reflex. Spit it out like my life depended on it. Spent ten minutes rinsing my mouth. Still felt haunted.
Feeling stupid brave now? Tried Century Eggs. Got them pre-peeled from the Asian market. They looked black and green and slimy. Like something preserved long after it should have been buried. Took a nibble. Flavour was… muddy? Metallic? With this weird rotten undertone? Texture was jelly-meets-chalk. Swallowed? More like forced it down. Aftertaste lingered. Felt like licking a wet basement floor.
By this point, my stomach was staging a major revolt. Felt queasy. Couldn’t even think about food normally. Started wondering why people even make this stuff. My taste buds felt damaged.
Did I try all 100? Hell no. My body had limits. But the few I braved were enough proof.
Here’s the brutal truth:
- Surströmming isn’t just strong fish. It’s fermented fish that wants revenge.
- “Maggot Cheese” substitute was a flavor assault that traumatized me.
- Century Eggs taste like decay suspended in jelly. Unnatural.
Honestly, half the stuff on that list exists only to dare tourists or punish people. It felt less like food exploration and more like culinary self-harm. My fridge still smells funny.
But you know what’s weird? Doing this dumb taste test took me back to when I worked in that awful call center job years ago. Boss told us “team building” meant sharing our worst cooking disasters during lunch break. My then-boyfriend (now ex, thankfully) had somehow managed to set fire to boiled eggs once. Tried to salvage them by scraping off the char, serving them cold with ketchup. Worst texture imaginable. Like eating ash-covered rubber balls drowned in cheap sauce.
Standing there trying that terrible Century Egg, tasting that weird rotten funk? All I could hear was that idiot boss’s voice booming: “C’mon, what’s the worst thing you EVER ate?” Yeah. Suddenly felt like I was back at that stained plastic lunch table. Could practically smell that over-heated microwave popcorn smell mixed with cheap cologne. It was awful. And trying to describe the Century Egg taste to the screen? Felt as pointless as trying to explain why my ex-boyfriend thought burnt eggs were edible. Some things just defy explanation. Makes you question your life choices. Both the bad food and the bad jobs.
Seriously, folks. Don’t go chasing after “worst foods” lists unless you enjoy feeling queasy and questioning your sanity. Your mouth and your stomach will thank you. Maybe just watch a video about it instead. Trust me.
