Why I Tackled This Topic
So I’ve been thinking about intimacy stuff lately ’cause Sarah and I hit a rough patch few months back. We had this awkward chat where she mumbled something like “it feels like you’re rushing” after I tried going down on her. Oof. That stung. Figured if I’m gonna call myself a decent partner, I better fix this crap.
My Disaster First Attempt
Grabbed some cheap wine that Friday, figured liquid courage would help. Started kissing her neck, moved down like in those crappy movies. Within two minutes I was basically motorboating down there like an overeager puppy. Sarah tensed up big time, patted my head and said “Maybe just cuddle tonight?” Felt like I’d failed a damn pop quiz.
What I Did to Improve
Next morning I swallowed my pride and straight-up asked: “Show me what sucks about last night?” Wasn’t easy hearing it but she told me three things:
- Too much spit – said it felt like drowning
- Zero rhythm – compared me to a broken jackhammer
- Ignored the clit – basically avoided the main event
Practiced solo on my thumb later – weird but helped. Focused on keeping my tongue flat like she said, not pointy. Watched legit educational vids (not porn) about anatomy. Biggest lightbulb moment? Realizing the clit’s way more sensitive than I thought. Started teasing around it first instead of charging straight in.
The Redemption Round
Tried again last Tuesday with zero wine involved. This time:
- Kissed everywhere BUT her crotch for like 10 minutes
- Started crazy slow when I went down – just light circles near her thighs first
- Used my hands too on her hips to keep pressure steady
- Paid attention to her breathing – slowed down when she gasped
Holy shit. Difference was night and day. She actually grabbed my hair to keep me there instead of pushing me away. Afterwards she laughed “Where’d you learn that? YouTube University?” We both cracked up. Felt like unlocking some secret achievement level.
Why Bothering Matters
Truth is? It ain’t about becoming some sex god. Seeing Sarah actually enjoy herself did something to my chest – like pride mixed with relief. Sounds cheesy but it’s less about the damn technique and more about showing her “I care enough to suck less at this.” Our dumb fights about dishes and laundry suddenly seem smaller now. Weird how mouth stuff connects to everything else.
