Honestly? This global holiday fest thing started ’cause my desk job nearly flatlined me during last Christmas season. Staring at the same office walls while Instagram bombarded me with Tokyo’s crazy Shimokitazawa Halloween parade footage? Pure torture. So I said screw it, maxed out my vacation days, and plotted a year of cramming in as many festivals as possible.
The Mad Planning Phase
First step was just Googling “weird holidays worldwide” at 2 AM. Found some Polish guy’s blog listing obscure stuff like Spain’s La Tomatina tomato fight and Iceland’s Þorrablót where they eat rotten shark. Booked zero hotels yet, just scribbled dates on my kitchen calendar with a red Sharpie:
- Feb: Venice Carnival masks
- July: Running with bulls in Pamplona (maybe just watch?)
- Oct: Dia de los Muertos sugar skulls in Oaxaca
- Dec: Germany’s Christkindlmarkt mulled wine crawl
What Actually Went Down
Reality hit fast at Venice Carnival. Thought I’d look fancy gliding in a handmade mask. Bought one for €80 near Piazza San Marco… then immediately tripped over a canal bridge step. The mask shattered. Had to glue it back with stolen hotel toothpaste. Pro tip: Don’t buy costumes near tourist traps. Found a wrinkled nonna selling better ones for €5 behind a fish market later.
Pamplona? Yeah no. Saw a YouTube video of bulls trampling some guy. Changed that plan real quick. Ended up at Thailand’s Songkran water festival instead. Got a kid’s Hello Kitty squirt gun and got drenched for three days straight. My phone died inside a ziplock bag full of rice afterward. Worth it.
Epic Fails & Shock Wins
Mexico’s Day of the Dead sounded beautiful… until I showed up with cheap face paint from Target. Sweat turned my skull design into a zombie raccoon by noon. Local abuela clucked her tongue, dragged me to her stall, and fixed it with pigment she ground from insects. Smelled weird but stayed perfect. Lesson: Always copy what grandmas do.
Tokyo’s Halloween parade was insane. Costumes ranged from Godzilla dragging a Starbucks cup to salarymen as dancing trash cans. Learned to yell “めっちゃ楽しい!” (“Meccha tanoshii!” = So fun!). Accidentally joined a stranger’s dance crew after eating too much takoyaki.
Final Takeaways
Embrace chaos. Missed trains, got pickpocketed in Berlin (got my bag back ‘cause the thief hated my terrible Europop mixtape), ate questionable street meat in Thailand. Still the best year ever.
- Pack bandaids and antacids BEFORE the trip. Trust me.
- Learn three local phrases: “Where’s the toilet?”, “Cheers!”, and “Holy crap that’s amazing!”
- Noise-canceling headphones for overnight buses. Drunk Welsh rugby fans yell… a lot.
Quit that soul-sucking job last month. My boss called me “reckless”. Funny word for someone whose biggest adventure is trying the new chipotle at Chipotle. Festivals remind you life’s messy, loud, and sticky – like Spain after tomato fight day. 10/10 would glue my mask back with toothpaste again.
